


Life's Not a Paragraph

by pixiePique



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: College Dropout, Falling In Love, First Kiss, Law, M/M, Poetry, gay nerds being gay and nerdy, implied shenanigans, tantrums
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-18
Updated: 2015-10-18
Packaged: 2018-04-26 22:01:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,755
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5022100
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pixiePique/pseuds/pixiePique
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dan studying law ft. E. E. Cummings</p>
            </blockquote>





	Life's Not a Paragraph

**Author's Note:**

> I am 100% phan trash

*Who pays any attention to the syntax of things will never wholly kiss you*

"Phil, do you have any idea what this means?"  
Dan's head was resting in his hands, his eyes red with fatigue and his hair wild from being tugged with frustration. Law books lay scattered haphazardly on his black ikea desk, dog-eared and tattered, open to random pages of monotonous text. Phil couldn't understand how Dan did it day after day, studying by cheap lamplight until he literally dropped onto his tattered books from exhaustion.  
Phil leaned over, peering down at the phrase Dan had bookmarked, knowing all the scraps of paper meant that the book was borrowed, too expensive to buy and highlight. He frowned a little, wishing Dan didn't have to worry about money so he could do something that made him happy.  
The black-haired boy looked up to see Dan's tired brown eyes fixed on him, waiting patiently to hear his answer.  
"Um..." Phil pursed his lips, staring at the line of complicated legalese. "I have no idea." Dan's face fell. He looked about ready to cry as he sank low into the cushions, brown curls brushing his wrinkled forehead as his head hung. "Sorry, Dan." Phil reached for his best friend's shoulder, but the brown-haired boy jerked away, getting up from the couch, his expression hardening.  
"Thanks anyway." Dan mumbled, heading back towards his bedroom.  
Phil was left staring after him, a tear inexplicably rolling down his cheek. His mouth set into a determined line as he looked up legal gibberish.  
Four hours later, Dan woke from a power nap to find a huge packet of legal notes on his desk, accompanied by a bright orange sticky note that read "It's probably all wrong, but I tried. Get some sleep tonight. Love, Phil."  
Dan stared at the last line until he fell asleep holding the note. His textbooks lay forgotten.

 

*My blood approves, kisses are better fate than wisdom*

"Dan." Phil said commandingly.  
It had been two hours since he started studying, and now he was picking his head up off of the books, surreptitiously wiping drool off his cheek while looking up at his roommate.  
"You've done enough studying. It's time to be done for now." Phil ordered.  
"Phil, I haven't even read half the stuff for the test tomorrow. The study guide isn't even-"  
"Dan." Phil cut in. "Do you want to know the only law that matters?"  
"Um." Dan racked his brain, searching for a law that seemed like it would matter specifically to Phil.  
"The law of Equivalent Exchange." Phil said seriously, holding up a brand-new complete boxed set of Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood.  
Dan finally took his hand off his books, shocked. Then he started laughing, loud and long, head thrown back, not stopping until he had followed Phil onto the couch, the dark-haired boy reciting the opener excitedly as Dan finally let himself succumb to sleep.

 

*The best gesture of my brain is less than your eyelids' flutter which says we are for each other*

A brunet head bowed over countless books skewed over a desk. Video equipment gathering dust in the corner, long forgotten. A red X marked on the next day of the ironic One Direction calendar on the white speckled wall. The ticking of a clock ringing loudly through the silent room, the only other sounds the turning of pages and frustrated sobbing. Pages of books collecting gray splotches of tears. Head in hands, Dan cried desperately, trying to stay quiet. Laws and court cases bounced uselessly around in his brain, refusing to keep quiet or converge into any kind of order.  
In the other room, Phil sat playing robot unicorn adventure, blissfully unaware of the weeping going on in the other room. Dan heard him laughing louder and louder, like the heartbeat in that Edgar Allen Poe story. The laughter echoed through his brain, adding to the chaos.  
Finally something snapped inside Dan.  
"I'm not going!" He shot out of his seat, the chair scraping against the floor as the chaos in his head was replaced with rage.  
Phil leapt up from the couch, running into Dan's room without even stopping to pause his game.  
"What?" Phil asked worriedly, holding open the door.  
Dan's hands clutched the lawbook, his knuckles turning white. When he turned to look at Phil, his eyes were red with tears and lack of sleep.  
The boy stared at each other, blinking silently.  
Suddenly Dan heaved the gigantic book over his head and chucked it as hard as he could across the room. It banged into the wall, denting the drywall, and then fell onto the carpet with a muffled thud.  
A long silence followed, the only sound Dan's angry panting.  
"I'm not going." He said quietly, swallowing as he tried to return his breathing to a normal pace.  
"What?" Phil asked, concerned.  
Dan slowly stood up taller. "I'm not doing it." His shoulders relaxed for the first time in what seemed like months, his frown disappearing.  
"What do you mean?" Phil reached a hand towards the brown-haired boy.  
"My exam. Im not going." Dan's eyes fixed on the other boy's in a determined stare.  
"Dan, you have to go to your resit." Phil said worriedly, scared for Dan's mental health.  
"Not if I don't give a fucking fuck anymore I don't!" Dan half-screamed, a huge gleeful grin spreading across his face.  
Phil was stunned into silence. He slowly retracted his hand.  
Suddenly Dan began sobbing, sinking to the floor with a relieved smile.  
"Oh, oh- okay, um- hey, Dan. Daniel." Phil hurriedly said, joining his best friend on the floor. Wrapping his arms around the weeping boy, he said "Hey. It's fine. You don't have to go to the resit. You don't have to do it at all. All I want is for you to do something that makes you happy." Dan pressed his head into the black-haired boy's shoulder. A muttered "I love you" slipped out of Phil's mouth without him realizing.  
Dan stiffened, jerking his head up to look at his best friend.  
Phil's eyes widened as he realized what he'd done. "Oh- oh no- I just meant- um-" he stammered, pulling back so he was no longer touching his best friend. "You were sad and I sort of just- I don't- you know I'm- I'm not-" suddenly Phil found himself unable to speak, due to Dan slapping his hand across the dark-haired boy's mouth, distracted from his previous tear-bending session.  
"I love you too."  
Phil blinked, trying to process what he'd just heard come out of his best friend's mouth.  
"Like," Dan paused, searching the other boy's eyes for any sign that he understood. "In a gay way."  
Phil's blue eyes widened, locked onto Dan's earnest brown ones. Slowly Dan removed his hand from the other boy's mouth, placing it gingerly on Phil's hand. "Any thoughts?" Dan asked, his eyes full of fear.  
Phil couldn't process what was happening. He was only realizing just now how much he loved Dan. All those domestic video clips that he'd played off to both his audience and himself as platonic, all those times Dan had vehemently denied being gay and then locked himself in his room, the way that both of them had declined any offer of a date made by a girl in the last few years in favor of spending the night on the couch watching anime together, hands mere inches apart.  
Phan was real, Phil realized. It just took their entire audience to make them aware of it.  
He closed his eyes and, without really knowing what he was doing, took Dan by the shoulders and gingerly pushed their lips together. After a few seconds, he pulled back, his fingertips flying up to his mouth as he sat there shocked by his own actions.  
There was a long silence.  
Then, suddenly, laughter began to bubble up in Dan's stomach. He started to giggle quietly, the laughs growing loud enough to shake his shoulders as tears streamed down his face. He sat forward quickly and planted his lips on Phil's, the dark-haired boy immediately kissing back.  
Some minutes later, they broke apart, arms wrapped around each other and matching grins on their faces.  
"How long?" Dan asked, hand caressing Phil's cheek.  
"Forever, you dummy." The blue-eyed boy answered, smiling so hard it hurt.  
"Maybe 'forever, you dummy' will be our always." Dan winked.  
"John Green trash." Phil laughed.  
"Shut up." Dan pulled Phil to him by his shirt collar, laughing into the kiss.  
The textbook remained forgotten on the floor for the rest of the night.

 

*Then laugh, leaning back in my arms, for life's not a paragraph*

A few months later, Dan films "college dropout". He debates adding in certain lines and gestures, not entirely sure whether he's ready to share the warm feelings inside with his fans, even a little.  
In the end, he decides it makes him happiest to be truthful.  
He cuts only the kiss.

 

*And death I think is no parenthesis*

"It's been twelve years since Phil died." Dan croaks. "I'm very alone these days."  
Phil chuckles. "You're going to die first, Mr. Maltesers." He shuts off the camera and sits by Dan on the bed.  
Dan puts an arm around the dark-haired boy's waist. "Good. Then I won't have to live without you."  
Phil kissed his boyfriend on the nose, mussing up the cat whiskers. "Until death do us part, huh?"  
Dan blushed. "That's gay." He mumbled, ducking his head and smiling. "Affection is disgusting."  
Phil wrapped his arms around Dan's waist, pressing a kiss into the brunet's neck. "I'm going to cover you in it."  
Dan gets up, pulling his boyfriend close to his face. Eyes half-lidded, he whispered "Why don't you cover me in something else?"  
Phil went red. "Daniel," he said hoarsely. "Inappropriate."  
Dan placed his finger gently over his boyfriend's lips. "Go and get a condom. I'll be there in a second, okay?" Phil nodded and turned to go into the bedroom. "Hey," Dan said to his boyfriend's retreating form. "Nice view." Phil laughed as he disappeared into the bedroom.

Dan cast a glance at his old desk in this new apartment where his camera equipment now sat. The law books were gone for good.  
"Dan, you coming?" Phil smiled, sticking his head out of their bedroom door, blue eyes shining.  
"I will be." Dan grins saucily at his boyfriend.  
He can hear Phil's laughter from inside their room.  
And it's amazing.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not even fucking sorry


End file.
